Ugly Red Lines all over my Genogram


“So how do you relate to God now,

since your father abandoned you?”

My thoughts as I looked over to my soon to be CPE supervisor were as follows:


Who I am and whose I cling to, claim and have been called from along my spiritual journey..

have no bearing on the man who did not see my life as a gift

or value me enough to be a steward in my raising, growing or nurturing as a parent

I’m taking a class called Healthy Leaders/Healthy Congregations as my seminary journey

approaches the horizon

waiting for the heavens to pour out misty, warming rains

as I drive into first call.

Our professor, as a part of the class, asked us to delve into our family history

and do a genogram

which simply speaking

are the emotional attachments we are weaved into one another in our families

What is painful is that more often than not,

people of color’s humbled beginnings are steeped into slavery

so our tribes, our richness has been robbed

and sometimes our genograms resemble an interlocking cacophony of puzzles

Especially when one side of the tree has been stripped bare

hacked off

because one parent did not think it as important to be present

But there is no bitterness, here

These are facts

and I only exude in these moments anger

and joyfulness…

because the Creator has never been absent from my presence

“Through the incarnation

Jesus as human

becomes the epicenter of Christian reality

and resurrects both men and women

as equally loved and called

by God.”

So I acknowledge the ugly red lines on my genogram

I have never suffered

or lacked for want

or for love, for that matter

My wonderful, crazy clan of family surrounds me always

My mother is my strength and my light

The Creator has brought me into a Tribe of my own

and Life does indeed, go on.

Lape Bonye, God’s Peace.

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